Dying a Thousand Deaths
“I died a thousand deaths” is a strange term to use when
facing an embarrassing situation. Much like the Urdu phrase ‘Chulu bhar pani
mein doob marna’ - to drown in a handful
of water, or wish the ground would open up and swallow one, or to curl up and
die, when the sense of mortification is so great that the only way out seems
death. The word mortification, the feeling of complete humiliation, itself
comes from the Latin word for death - ’mors’ and had a religious meaning in
Christianity: ‘ to put your sin to death’.
Is death the final rejection of an unacceptable situation? In
February this year Aaron Bushnell, an active US Air Force servicemen, set
himself on fire in front of Israel's embassy in the US. He called out ‘Free Palestine’ as he died, writing
earlier ‘I will no longer be complicit in genocide’.
In the Japanese Samurai code of ethics, Bushido, there was
no fear of death, only the fear of dishonor.
Honour could only be regained by committing ritual suicide -"seppuku."
However, most people do not go to such extremes. Some resign from their jobs,
some become whistle blowers, while some work hard to change unacceptable
policies. They metaphorically die a thousand deaths, with each dishonourable or
illegal action taken by the organization, family or country they represent.
Ernest Hemmingway in his novel Farewell to Arms, wrote ‘The
coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave but one’, his version of Shakespeare’s
Julius Caesar who dismisses his wife’s concerns for his safety with ‘Cowards
die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.’
This is different from the Urdu phrase ‘Sher ki aik din ki zindagi geedar ki
sau saala zindagi se behtar hai’ -one day’s life of a lion is better than a
hundred-year life of a hyena. The Urdu phrase is about personal glory and
honour. Julius Caesar simply believes ‘death, a necessary end, Will come when
it will come.’ In other words, a person must focus on the task at hand and not
worry about death which is ‘purposed by the mighty gods’.
Thousand is not a specific number, but is a hyperbole for a
large quantity. A Thousand and One Nights is a much-loved collection of
enthralling tales in Arabic preceded by the Persian Hezar Afsan. Thousand
nights here is the time it took Scheherazade to calm down the anger of her
husband. A thousand are also the desires of the poet Ghalib each of which take
away his life’s breath: hazaron ḳhwahishen
aisi ki har ḳhwahish pe dam nikle. The poet Allama Iqbal speaks of the thousand
years the narcissus cries at its inability to see - hazaron saal nargis apni
be-nuri pe roti hai, referring to a
politically divested nation. The many deaths generated by unrequited love
compels Aasi Ghazipuri to write Hazaaron ki jaan le chuka hai yeh chehra zer
e niqab ho kar – a thousand lives have been taken by the veiled face of the
beloved.
The beauty of Helen of Troy is described by Christopher
Marlowe as the face that launched a thousand ships, referring to the deadly
battles that took place to rescue her from her abductor, Paris. Author Albert
Camus writes ‘Creating makes me die a thousand deaths, because it means making
order, and my entire being rebels against order. But without it I would die,
scattered to the winds.’
Death by a thousand cuts is a form of torture and execution once
practiced in Imperial China. Today it has become symbolic of the slow
progression of broken relationships from marriage and friendship, to political
alliances and economic exploitation. Taylor Swift sings about a broken
relationship: ‘I can't pretend it's ok
when it's not. It's death by a thousand cuts’. International Development Consultant Sanjay
Gupta, despairs of the poor and underprivileged ‘dying a thousand deaths
through indignity and incompetence’. Death
by a thousand cuts as a political term refers to the slow incremental
injustices that initially go unnoticed such as the displacement of Palestinians
that began 77 years ago.
One imagines, being face to face with the recent 35000
deaths and 80,000 injured in Palestine, each health worker would feel they have
died a thousand deaths. Nevertheless, to die a thousand deaths is infinitely
better than being Too Dead to Die, the title of a 2022 US graphic novel.
Durriya Kazi
May 18, 2024
Karachi
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